Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Mitt Romney's favorite book is Battlefield Earth...

by L. Ron Hubbard. Hat tip to "This Modern".

Wow. I had the pleasure of going through the "L. Ron Hubbard Life Experience Museum" in L.A. last was a, well,hmm.. it was free, crazy enough a concept to be interesting, an air conditioned building on a hot day, umm, and it's not like I'm in Los Angeles a whole lot.

I think people in general know about L. Ron Hubbard and most people know something about Scientology. The craziest part of the museum had to do not with "Battlefield Earth" but with a book that he started right after "Battlefield Earth" entitled "Mission Earth".

There was a special animatronic exhibition featuring the two evil aliens involved, who moved and talked about their plot, and there was even a hard rock "Mission Earth" theme song. But why they came to earth and what their evil plan was is the kicker. If I sat down for a year coming up with ways of ridiculing L. Ron Hubbard I couldn't possibly come up with something like this:

as my docent explained, the aliens have come to Earth to buy drugs in order to take them back to their home planet and enslave their population. Specifically, as my docent explained, they've come to buy "street drugs".

Don't take my word for it: Wiki's entry for Mission Earth has a paragraph on it:
Unknown to Heller, Earth is also the base for a secret plan put into action by the insane, diabolically evil Lombar Hisst to seize the throne of the Empire of Voltar for himself. Hisst has been importing illegal narcotic drugs from Earth and using them to enslave the entire population of the aristocratic heads of government on Voltar. By turning the entire government into drug addicts, Hisst plans to take control of the Empire for himself. Because of Earth's role as a supplier of drugs, Hisst decides that Heller's mission to save the planet must not succeed.

Intergalactic drug tourists. I can barely keep from bursting out laughing.

In, um, fairness, if...ok, I have to stop myself from. This whole thing is absurd. Jesus Christ I can't be fucking objective on this, what's the point?

No comments: