Friday, June 26, 2009

Communication problems

A writer who I will not name because I don't want to compare myself to him made the statement that on the printed page his words could flow but in real life he talked like a baby. I seem to have a similar problem. I look at the white space on this form; it's comforting, I can project anything I want onto it, picturing that I'm writing to ideal readers who can understand every nuance of what I'm trying to say, who will sympathize with it, and who will approve. In real life things aren't like that, of course, and it's much easier to send something out into the ether thinking that people who come in contact with it will either hate it or love it than it is to risk the ego hurt of actually taking a chance. Of course, that's an exaggeration to some extent; it's not like I sit in my apartment all day, type on my computer, and never actually interact with folks. But still, there's this part of me, a kind of fragile ego spot, that's very cautious about exposing itself.

I can compose paragraphs, talk in complete sentences, go back and forth with the meaning of the writing, pause, contemplate, do whatever while writing on a form like this; reality, on the other hand, is clipped, right now.

Pathetic as it might seem, it's sometimes easier to pour your heart out about individual matters so personal that the writing constitutes too much information for just about anyone, than it is to go up to a stranger and say "Hi!".

Writing is a great medium of expression, it goes without saying, so obvious, but it's also a great dodge. It's a dodge that has the added benefit that if you really develop it you're able to communicate things to people that would not be accessible to them in any other way, with the possible exception of very long, in depth conversations. It can give pleasure to people also. What begins as a crutch turns into a fine point tool for the production of meaning.

And it's one o'clock and I'm very tired so I'm cutting this entry short.

No comments: